DNC Idiots, Smokin’ Ricky and more…

Random thoughts after a looooooooooong work day…

–Is there any more bizarre scene than at the Democratic and Republican national conventions? Everyone is grinning like idiots, some wear ridiculous outfits and in watching it on TV, it’s almost like everyone has lost their minds. It’s a bizarre grouping of people who come together for one simple purpose – to nominate someone for president. Couldn’t this be done through a simple phone call?

My two favorite parts of some random watching over the past few nights:

1) The overall state-by-state nominations of how many votes each state gives to their candidate. You know how it goes: “Madame Secretary, the great state of Montana, who gives us the best trees and lakes, the creator of hand grenades, the only state to outlaw mouth-to-mouth kisses with cheetahs, blah blah blah.” This goes on for 50 STATES – a bunch of adults acting like giddy gibbons. It’s like laughing gas is being pumped into the FleetCenter or something. Normally, I love seeing happy people, but this is just making me want to swing away with a broken pool cue. Then, there’s no. 2….

2) Guam. Yes, Guam has a purpose at this deal. They actually contribute votes, even though they’re not a state. They’re a territory or something, forgive my ignorance. But this isn’t the way it works – only states should vote, not territories or whatever the hell Guam and Puerto Rico is. (Seriously, is this PR as the 51st state thing going to happen or what? Jesus, shit or get off the pot already!) Hey,if they’re going to be allowed to vote, fine. But bring your best to the convention, not rejects from “The Island of Dr. Moreau.” There must be hotter chicks (or dogs) than who they brought. Oy vai!

—Ricky Williams? Good for him and shame on those that think that he should stay in football just because he’s good at it. What ever happened to searching for personal growth? What ever happened to doing what’s right for oneself? I guess if you’re a major player in the U.S.’s most lucrative sport, that doesn’t matter. What’s funny is seeing Fins’ coach Dave Wannstedt in his typical ‘rah rah football coach’ mode, complete with matching Acme product Football Coach moustache and Acme Football Coach hairdo, combed back for ease and manliness. He was so desperately trying to paint a pretty picture on a HORRIBLE situation that is was awkward at best. Dave, the season’s over for you. Just shave the ‘stache and move on…

–I don’t care what anyone says: The Red Sox need to make some sort of bigger move. With Trot Nixon out for the season a probability, Larry Walker seems more like a possibility. The best scenario I randomly heard: Nomar to the Cubs for Matt Clement and Alex Gonzalez and Derek Lowe to the Rockies for an outfielder. Those trades should happen in a second, but I have a feeling other than a trade for a ‘Who’-type player, nothing’s going to happen. Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr……..

–Was anyone clamoring for SportsCenter segments from Times Square? I’m still trying to figure out the loose association ESPN made between sports and music, but there’s a lot of things I’m trying to figure out about ESPN these days.

Have a great weekend, thanks for reading and remember – pass the site address onto your friends!


Fliggel Flaggal

…some fun to start your week from yours truly, while wondering if I might be dealt by the trade deadline…

–The saga of Lance Armstrong appears to be over for now, until next year’s Tour De France. It will be nice to go back to our normal American way – cheering on baseball, hating soccer and wondering what Bonnie Bernstein and LeeAnn Tweeden look like in the morning.

(Ba doom ching)

–I won’t get into too much Sox/Yanks reteric today as I’m typing this during Game 3 of what has turned out to be a great lil’ series. I will say that Saturday’s game was a fun one to watch, if not extremely long, and it’s always good to see A-Rod get his pretty face smushed up a bit. Even a Bronxer can’t say they wouldn’t like to see V-Tek and his State Trooper look take A-Rod and his blonde hi-lights and turn them red.  Will this be ‘The Game’ to turn everything around?  Well, here’s how I look at it. The Sox have ZERO chance to catch the Yankees for the East. Before tonight, it’s 8.5 games worth of difference and even with a win tonight, it’s 7.5 -waaaay too much to overcome.

But this changes what I call the ‘Wild Card Attitude.’ While the Sox have been on this slide, the major point that the front office and players bring up is that ‘we’re still leading the Wild Card race.’ The only problem with that is the sentiment that the Sox were backing into the Wild Card title and not exactly playing like a team that should qualify to make the postseason, ala the Boston Celtics of 2004. It’s hard to get excited watching a club that at times barely qualifies to make a Little League playoff, much less the American League playoffs.

This weekend hopefully has changed that. If the Sox are charging for the next two months and really play great baseball and STILL don’t finish atop the East but pick up the W/C, now we’re talking. I’d take a fiery team that is scrapping for their playoff lives and pick up a W/C slot than a lethargic team that lucks its way into it because everyone else is so mediocre. The Sox have about seven weeks to figure out who they’re going to be.

–I didn’t do much of anything this weekend, which can be a good thing when you’re running all over the place constantly. It’s a great feeling to wake up in your bed after 10.5 hours of sleep and realize, “I have jack shit to do today. I’m having Crunch n’Munch for breakfast.” But unless you have something to do on Saturday night, that much sleep sucks. My Saturday night was spent watching TV and eating popcorn. Seriously, I was a toenail painting session and a viewing of Runaway Bride away from being called a woman.  S’ok though, because I picked up a few things from weekend TV:

–1) Pop-culture shows are everywhere. Between VH1 alone, you can get up to date on everything that’s going on and everything you should know about. Like Lindsay Lohan…and a newly-endowed Tara Reid. Shopping together no less. What you say? Well this great show – The What The? Awards on E Network – showed a picture of the two hanging out and shopping this week. Lohan, by the way, is still 17 and is hand-in-hand with the Hilton Sisters’ new friend, Reid. Nothing but hot, gushy goodness can come out of this association. It’s f’n tremendous. I’ll put a picture up on the site if I can figure it out.

–2) Did ESPN start this whole resurgence of lists? Every day, you can find someone new ranking stuff or listing the ‘Best Of Last Tuesday’ type deals. On this vein, Comedy Central did a 100 Greatest Stand-up Comedians show and in the 15 minutes I watched, I realized that all of the ‘great’ comedians are now terrible movie actors who haven’t done stand-up in years like Jim Carrey, Robin Williams and Martin Lawrence. Why don’t they grab a mic and tell jokes anymore? Is it that bad? You can’t tell me that Eddie Murphy would rather wait around for Pluto Nash II than jump on stage and tell dirty jokes.

And while we’re on Robin Williams, stop sending that friggin’ Rules for America chain email that is supposedly from one of his stand-up acts. Yes, we get it – shut down American borders and teach people English. USA…USA…U…S….

–3) Finally, as I’m watching this Sox game, I love the random celebrities who will be there for like 5 innings and then leave. John Kerry (who said his favorite ball Sox player was Manny Ortez last week), Tom Brokaw, Katie Couric (hottest 40+ out there) and Ben friggin’ Affleck. Seriously Ben, go away.

Thanks for ….wait, there’s more!

A new feature called Appointments of the Week. Here’s where I am spending various time during the week getting stuff done.

-Wednesday: The yearly dermatologist visit. A full check of sun spots to keep me rockin’ out through the year. The statement that never gets said: “Boy, you’re tan.” Damn SPF +75….

-Oil Change!!! I have a free coupon that I won, but I have zero idea where the place is and no idea what day I’ll go. I have this sinking feeling that the computer printout I have is going to get scrutinized like a prom date. Oil changes are always a good time, especially the awkward “Can you pop the hood?” question.

Finally finally, I have a request for those reading this: send this site address to three people who don’t know about it yet. I want to see if this is entertaining to others, so please help me out and get me some props…

Thanks for reading,


Start stretching!

…a couple random bits while doing laundry on a Thursday night, watching the Sox, some Smackdown and maybe some porn later on if I get my homework done on time.

1) Remember Uncle Kracker, the former dj for Kid Rock? He put out a solo album called Double-Wide a few years ago (yep, I have it) that really wasn’t critically acclaimed or anything, but his image – spiked hair, plenty of tats, tough guy – remained pretty consistent. I get an email from VH1 the other day about new music I should check out. Kracker is featured and looks like a complete fruit. Really long hair, jean jacket (25 trendy points) and the worst part? The picture they used had him doing the tilted-head ‘What are you thinking’ look at the camera that is reminscent of when Hanson tried to be thoughtful in their mid-teens. Sh*t like this really pisses me off.

2) Where else other than the WNBA can you watch a game and see fans look either a) tricked because they thought they were buying something else or b) mortified?

3) I remember a time when the Best Damn Sports Show was pretty, well, damn good. Somewhere along the way, this show got really, really crappy. They certainly have done a great job of mixing average analysts with C-level celebrities and a odd mix of athletes. Brief lowlights tonight: Michael Rappaport (who?) is on the show, while John Salley is defending Clippers GM Elgin Baylor. As Clyde would say, bring back Tom Arnold.

4) And to end this round, remember this phrasess: “Start stretching.” Red Sox analyst (using this term loosely) Sam Horn when talking about how the team needs to start playing better and go into a good stretch of games: “They need to start stretching tonight.” Wow.

thanks for reading,