My Hollywood Minute(s)

Personally, nothing can top last week’s blog for a pure experience. Alas, I must try to pump something out this week, so here’s a mixed bag of pop culture easy-reading fun, all wrapped up with a bow and Scotch tape. (The Hall of Fame blog is coming, probably in a few weeks.)

–I reserved a good part of my Saturday aside and went to ‘King Kong,’ a three-hour long epic remake by Peter Jackson of Lord of the Rings fame. Yes, it’s a long movie and a lot of story to take in at once. But once you see it, you’ll understand that p.j. had to make this movie this way. There were times when you feel for this giant gorilla and can literally hear his heart break when Ann Darrow turns him down. I know – it sounds crazy but it’s true. The CGI special effects are pretty awesome, complete with a few ‘Oh, come on!’ moments like any monster movie has. A couple other questions/thoughts I had coming out of it though:
*At some point, I actually wondered, “Is she thinking about a long-term relationship with Kong?” I began to think of those logistics for a minute, shuddered and then went back to eating popcorn.
*Do women find Adrien Brody attractive? If so, I must smash my nose with a mallet because ‘ugly’ apparently is in.
*It’s always funny to see your friend hide his face in his jacket when giant bugs are on the screen. There’s no price on that comedy.
*Naomi Watts has this ability to just look terrified at all times. Where did she come from anyway?

In all, I would definitely recommend ‘King Kong,’ but get an aisle seat for bathroom breaks. There aren’t many, but ‘Kong’ is why people go to the movies: a grandiose story that must be seen to be appreciated.

—-You might have already known this, but a movie version of Miami Vice is hitting the big screen this summer with Colin Farrell as Crockett and Jamie Fox as Tubbs. You can peep the trailer at I wasn’t a huge fan of the show growing up, but can appreciate that it would be perfect fodder for a major film. However, this brings up a good question – why has Hollywood become so unoriginal? To me, I can see how doing films on ‘Vice’ and ‘Dukes of Hazzard’ and remakes like ‘Kong’ would seem like studios aren’t coming up with fresh new ideas. I don’t know if I agree with that. Studios are about doing one thing: making money. Once, one idea hits it big and is doable for others, everyone will follow suit. That’s why you see so many superhero, dead singer and tv adaption flicks – they’re using an age-old formula to attract a new audience.

Look at ‘Dukes’ for example: young MTV-made stars (Stiffler from Am. Pie and Johnny ‘Jackass’ Knoxville) with an ultra-hot female (Jessica Simpson) in a car chase, dirty humor type of movie. This wasn’t meant to attract the old ‘Dukes’ fans, but kids who they hoped would adopt these new ‘Dukes’ into their personal ‘Hot’ lists. I can definitely see why Hollywood would try and create this with other shows and remakes. It’s not unoriginality as much as throwing darts at a board and trying to hit something big. And as far as ‘Kong,’ I see it as being able to use the current technology to make an even better movie than we could have ever imagined. Now, how did ‘Godzilla’ go so wrong….

—-Some other movies coming out sometime soon. You can check out most of the trailers at

-Lady In The Water: The new M. Night Shyamalananananan movie (The Sixth Sense guy) debuts his new flick this July. I thought The Village was awesome, so I’m pretty excited about this one which stars Paul Giamatti (Sideways, dozens of other great roles) and Bryce Dallas Howard (who was the blind girl in Village).

-The Davinci Code: Great book which hopefully translates over. If so, this movie will be HUGE. I’d highly recommend the book to anyone, especially those who aren’t ‘big’ into reading. It’s fast-paced and so well done that I’d gather anyone would like it.

-X-Men III: Also next summer, the final X-flick looks pretty sick. Of course, I’m a comic book nerd so most movies of this ilk appeal to me. For example…

-V For Vendetta: A flick based on a DC book that is getting some good buzz. I’ve never read it, but the previews look good.

-Transformers: 2007 is going to be nuts for Nason-approved flicks like this one, Spider-Man 3 (working title: The Greatest Film of All Time) and Ghost Rider. I’m a big T-Formers guy (gotta love Optimus…got to), so this should kick ass. Steven Spielberg is even involved. My guess is that Thundercats won’t be too far behind, which I’ll have to see with T-cats fan and overall good guy, Clyde.

-Superman Returns: Yeah, yeah. Super-this and super-that.

—-CK wrote another blog today – his first since May. Wow, he is an angry guy. Read for yourself at Definitely a good read if you want to get out of the holiday spirit.

—-Here are some other things that you should know about:

1) Wrestler Diamond Dallas Page is suing Jay-Z for allegedly stealing the diamond gesture he makes with his hands. I mean, everytime Hova or someone in the Roc-A-Fella posse throws that up, you think DDP vs. Goldberg at Halloween Havoc in ’98, right?

2) Chappelle Show is back! Kinda. They took whatever Chappelle threw together before he decided that his new $50 million contract was just too much and made a few shows that will debut in 2006. Comedy Central has a preview up on their site, which I can’t seem to access. Anyhoo, we’ll all get some new Dave next year.

3) Speaking of Dave, I have a few things to say about Dave Matthews that I’ll probably save for another week. I went to a show last week and didn’t come away that impressed.

4) The Sultan of Sweet Caroline – Neil Diamond – is hot again, thanks to a new album produced by Rick Rubin. I haven’t heard it, but it’s getting raves. I think the true test is if you pop it in and a girl muckles onto you immediately, making you say something like, “Jeeeeeeeeeezzuusssssssss!” (Inside joke, y’all. Like Stuart Scott, I’m just playin’.)

5) From the ‘What the f**k are they making that for’ file: a sequel to Van Wilder is being filmed, focusing on the Taj character returning back to India with his knowledge. Lame. I also saw an ad today for an American Pie spinoff with Eugene Levy going to band camp with Stiffler’s brother. Just garbage, straight-to-DVD stuff. That’s it – no one gets Christmas presents this year. I’m pissed!

Thanks for reading,

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