Time and the ripple

Life comes down to hours, minutes, seconds. Sometimes, hours seem like seconds, seconds seem like hours and minutes can feel like years. A split-second decision or indecision can affect the course of history and cause a ripple effect through time. Life’s funny like that…you don’t know how that ripple will affect you.

The holidays were intended (I think) to be a time when focusing on those hours, minutes and seconds went away. They were meant to be a time spent with family, friends and the loved ones that make life worth living. Note the word ‘intended.’ Ever notice how everyone seems upset around the holidays? Rarely do you find someone that answers something other than, “Errrrrrrrr,” when you ask them if they’re ready for Christmas. A holiday and time of year that is supposed to be so positive and so joyful brings out the exact opposite in most of us. This year seems to be unique in that the magical Christmas spirit that can provide somewhat of a bond for us all seemed sadly absent. It could be just me, but in talking to others, a lot of us weren’t really into Christmas this year. Maybe I needed a Wii or something.

For myself, the holiday blues got worse when I got some bad news on Thursday regarding my job search. Negotiations between myself and a company I really wanted to work for broke off without warning and it looks to be a dead deal. I shouldn’t really go into dramatic details, but long story short, I have no idea what happened and that feeling stuck with me through the Christmas holiday like a big f’n weight on my shoulders. I tried to hide it as best I could, but I just mentally felt like shit and that really, really, really pisses me off. Really. I now go into a busy short week with two games with more questions than answers as the calendar turns into 2007.

So after taking a few hits and getting knocked down to the canvas, I’m taking the philosophy I saw in a Dwayne Wade Adidas commercial a year ago: get knocked down nine times, get up ten. I did some work Christmas night on a plan I tagged as The Search, encompassing 10 companies in both Maine and New Hampshire that I could see myself work for. There are some of you reading this that will be able to help out and you’ll get the tap on the shoulder if I need you. I’m capable of some big things and someone is going to get a big star in their company if they roll the dice, at least that’s what I keep telling myself. Having the support of friends and family is going to mean a lot over the next 90 days as I near the end of an amazing seven-year run that has helped me define myself in ways I never thought possible.

The last few days has been a minor setback on the path I chose to set out on back in November, but I’m trying to stay optimistic. The decision by that company caused a ripple that will affect others in part by my next move. The hours are seeming longer as I’m not sure what is coming next, but I know that I’m getting more and more anxious by the day. Mentally, I’m pacing like crazy while also fighting off the anxiety that comes with a job search. Where will I be a year from now? Can you tell me so I won’t have to think about it?

I’ve been so sporadic with my postings lately that I wanted to make a point to wish everyone well in the year ahead. I look around at my friends and family and see so much potential for a great 2007 on so many levels. For all of you reading this, I’m sure there has been some hardship for you this past 12 months, something that has stopped you in your tracks and made you question things around you. If find yourself struggling at any point in the year ahead, take the philosophy I’m going to try and adopt for the next 12 months and we’ll see how we turn out:

Fall down nine times, get up ten, and make your hours, minutes and seconds all worth the effort.

thanks for rippling…I mean, reading,